Category Archives: Spirituality

I have come to the end of the road and cannot move forward. I have received confirmation several times in the span of maybe two or three weeks and so now I can no longer avoid or run from the truth. It’s just like someone with a megaphone in your ear, and they are shouting so loud that it even hurts to a degree. So what it is the issue, you might be asking. Well, I have no choice but to accept that the Lord is calling me into rest. Painfully, I am going to have to find some sort of peace in this because I know now that there are some personal issues that have come up that must be dealt with, and that my endeavors will have to take a backseat for now. A better way of saying it is that communing with God is going to have come before everything that I adore and am hoping for. My life is going to have to be restructured and I will have to commit to changes that might seem undesirable. It is time for me to put the rest the issues of my heart that are holding me back. It is not enough to simply know Jesus Christ as my lord and savior. It is not enough to simply have salvation and operate in my various talents and spiritual gifting. It is now time to know God more intimately as my Father and finally become a son. 

Recently, I read a book by Jack Frost entitled, From Spiritual Slavery to Spiritual Sonship. To say the least, the words about spiritual slavery described me almost to the nth degree. I’m not going to give you a dissertation about the book, but in short, it is about becoming a son of God and becoming secure in your identity in Christ. Only a son of God will trust Him enough to simply rest in and believe in His promises. A son of the Most High doesn’t strive to get what he wants and doesn’t have anything to prove. He is not moved or threatened by the success of others. A son has connected with the heart of the Heavenly Father in such a way that it brings a supernatural joy and peace that he walks in. He is not anxious, nor jealous, and has learned to delight in the Lord. The son desires a deeper relationship with the Lord more than blessings or success.

 A slave in the spiritual sense is constantly doing and does not know how to be a son of God. He doesn’t know how much the Father loves him and lacks a sense of affirmation and worth in simply being who God has created him to be. The slave needs to be busy in order to feel productive. He often needs to feel a sense of accomplishment in order to avoid feeling like a failure. The slave is unable or even maybe unwilling to believe that God wants the best for him and is not withholding anything from him. The slave often times has good intentions but is subject to doing what he wants to do instead of looking for the will of the Father. He is always searching and looking, but often times he has no clue as to what he is looking for.

The perfect example of the spiritual slave is the older brother in the parable of the prodigal son found in Luke 15:11-32. He seemingly did everything right and was extremely loyal to his father but felt that he was owed something. He didn’t understand that his father loved him deeply and celebrated him everyday. Seeing his younger brother being celebrated for simply returning home after committing a lifetime of sin was unbearable because he didn’t realize that his father celebrated him everyday. While I believe that I have had the experience of both brothers, more often I have felt very much like the older brother. In one of my earlier posts, I talked about how I felt like I wasn’t properly rewarded for being a “good little church boy” and how it hurt me to my core to not experience certain things that others did. All because I failed to trust in His plan for me and allowed circumstance to convince me that He loved me less. This is some of the worse kind of slavery one can experience.

 The truth is that I’ve had the attitude of the slave for a LONG time. This started with me back in my earlier years and never really stopped. The only period I can think of where I may have had some measures of peace and affirmation was the period after I decided to leave my past life behind and follow Christ for real. I miss those days. I had some of the most amazing quiet time experiences and started hearing the Lord’s voice so clearly! I long for those days to come back in some form. What happened was, I then started trying to make up for “lost time.” Reality slapped me upside the head and despite all that I had experienced, I allowed the enemy to come in and poison my mind with the idea that I had wasted too much time. I believed that I was supposed to have been so much more successful and that I needed to start “moving and shaking.” So off to the races went my life. Bombarded with media images, thoughts of all my past failures and the feeling that I had to something to prove to everyone and myself, I started casting several irons into the fire. But it got even worse after my near-death experience in 2008. Now I REALLY had to “succeed” because my present reality looked like failure and I was consumed with ideas that my life was going to be full of disappointment.

So to remedy these thoughts and feelings, I got busy with ministry and my writing. I have become involved in different ministries outside of the four walls of a church in order to gain experience and “build my credentials.” I began to stay busy with ministry as a means for filling a deep void in my heart. They were all irons in the fire so that I could achieve my dream career and overcompensate for what I considered to be a waning social life. They were my ticket to building the life that I believed would fulfill me and to redeeming the times. In addition to the mayhem is my present-day indifference and boredom with the institution of church… So I’m like a car running on empty and my journey to nowhere has reached its end. I have become worn out and tired. My mind is always racing and it is RARE that I even get a full night’s rest or even sleep soundly. My mind is obsessed with the future to where I don’t enjoy the present the way that I should. Spiritual warfare has become heightened as I now know that the enemy is trying to make me lose my mind with all these negative thoughts. Not one day passes where I don’t have at least one “THIS SUCKS!” moment. At the same time, I know that I have placed demands on God, which is a BIG no-no. I have not accepted and trusted in whatever inheritance He has awaiting me. I’ve been trying to earn it, even if I didn’t realize it.

I’m not trying to throw myself under the bus here because God has been gracious and has used me in the midst of my madness. I have grown as a spoken word artist, and I have gained experience with teaching and leading small groups. Most importantly, others have been blessed. However, if I were resting in Him and allowing Him to call the shots, I could have been and would be much more effective. I also no longer want to minister from a place of pain and where it even begins to feel like a burden. But let’s be honest. If it is your season to go forth in your purpose and destiny, all you have to do is move when He says move and do what He says. Everything else will fall into place. If I have to strive on my own to make things happen, that is usually a sign that you are out of His will. For a true son, opportunities will usually present themselves. Even though there will always be challenges, life still flows much more smoothly. A son is never out of position and rests in knowing that he is bringing glory to God, no matter the cost. A slave needs self glory to feel good and is going to pursue whatever looks good, smells good or that which seems like a good idea. A slave is subject to be led by “passions” and desperately needs to be “happy” in the midst of his own chaos. A slave will get burned out over time because he is following his own mission which leads to heartache and death while a son follows the Father’s mission which leads to life and peace. That mission also involves periods of rest as well. (smile) A son is content and has authentic joy because he is resting in the promises of the Heavenly Father.

In closing, I have decided to answer His call to rest. I will need help with this because I am fearful. I don’t even know what rest is going to look like. I already know that I will be consumed with thoughts of “falling behind” and “being overlooked.” Not to long I ago I came face to face with someone who has walked in places where I desire to as well. This just may be a test to see if I love Him or the doors that He can open. The truth is that I’ve forgotten how to have fun and savor the blessings of each day. I have been like the Energizer Bunny and would now be uncomfortable with the very peace that I desire. How sad… My life doesn’t look the way I had hoped, but carrying on the way that I have will only lead to more stress, more tiredness, more anguish and more compulsive activity. The joy of the Lord seems to have departed from me and I don’t have a hunger for His Word. This is what happens when you don’t enter into His rest. Spiritual slavery is just like an addiction, and those caught up in it need an intervention. Hopefully mine begins now.   

Nathan Allen Copyright© 2012

Deception

The entity that inspired sin’s contraception

Slithered into the world

Etching a permanent stain on humanity

Euphoria of Eden erased

Rebellion towards the Heavenly Father abased

And even those who say they love Him abuse His grace

So deception even colors our perception

Of who the Heavenly Father is

Just like Lucipher did

We want to be our own god

Chasing after “passions” which are nothing more than misguided erections

With His divine plan there is no connection

Suffering from an unrighteous infection

In desperate need of a salvation injection

But mankind drinks the wine of Babylon

Giving life abundantly to the works of the flesh

Leading to utter hopelessness and everlasting death

Holiness became our kryptonite after we took a bite of that fruit

Now Eve wants to be Adam and Adam wants to be Eve

Deception shouts from the ends of the earth making us believe

That His divine order… is actually disorder…

And then we take the blood of the lamb that was shed

Casting it to the swine

And use our only saving grace to write on the walls of our own castles

Exalting kingdoms built by mere earthly wisdom

Calling perfected beauty a lie

Perverting the scriptural definition of love

Idolizing our own reflections in the mirror

The pride of the life

Replacing the warm embrace of the One who is and is to come

The creation scoffs at the need of any approval from the Creator

Deception sings poisonous melodies

Drowning out that still soft voice

Making empty promises to fill that void

Created by the Heavenly Father where only He can fit

The cries of the flesh draw sympathy from this carnal world

So it roams free from its delayed death sentence

Deception’s agents crowd the battlefield

Drenched in the blood of those who dared to become sons and daughters of the Most High

They will be avenged

On that day deception will come face to face with Absolute Truth

And meet its end in the lake of fire

Along with those who harkened unto its voice and are left standing before the white throne…

Whose side will you be on?

Nathan Allen Copyright© 2012

The purpose of this post is not to cause divisions or sow discord but to truly examine a belief that has become more and more prevalent over the years. It is vital that we walk in the TRUTH and not buy into “religious fads.”

We are coming up on the next presidential election this year and all of the political gridlock and drama has already begun to surface. I’m hopefully going to stick to my promise to the God and try and stay out of the political debates and hype as much as possible. After all, politics has done nothing but cause dissention, hate and divide this country in such a way that it is really quite sad. I believe that this division may be one of the very things that bring on the downfall of this country as I’m reminded of what Jesus Christ says in Matthew 12:24-26. Nowadays, I read blogs that are full of hateful comments and racist rants that make me think that we are back in the times of Jim Crowe. And I’m really sick and tired of the terms “liberal” and “conservative” because frankly, I no longer really know what they mean because their definitions seem much skewed. I call myself an “independent” because I will never put my faith in any political party ever again.

So why am I asking whether or not God is a “conservative?” Well, I will be honest and say that it is a waste of time asking whether or not He is a “liberal” or Democrat because the answer is a no-brainer. Their overall agenda is called “progressive,” but as far as I’m concerned, they have only progressed into blurring the morality line, if not completely erasing it, when it comes to various issues. However, many of the so-called Christians in this country support the conservative agenda and label you a heathen if you don’t, no matter how holy your lifestyle might be. So just as black Americans are often accused of being brainwashed by the Democratic party, I submit to you that many Christians have drank the Kool-Aid of believing that the Republican party actually represents Jesus Christ. Therefore, I see the need to examine this ideology a little closer.

A good friend of mind said it best: Republicans stand for righteousness and Democrats stand for social justice. I guess the better way to say this is that they at least appear to stand for those things. Well, I stand for both, so I don’t fit into either one. Scripture also supports that God stands for both because while He obviously hates sin, He also abhors oppression and dishonest scales, which are mentioned at least a couple of times in the book of Proverbs.

It amazes me that the same people who are jumping up and down screaming about taking prayer out of school are the same folks who have an insatiable lust for capitalism. Don’t get me wrong because I am not necessarily anti-capitalism and I do believe that it is a travesty that prayer has been taken out of school. It just seems like I’m worshipping a different God than many of them because He clearly stated that we can’t serve two masters, according to Matthew 6:24. We will hate one and love the other. I have read and heard many people say that they believe that Jesus Christ would be a Republican if He were still on earth. Uhh… The Jesus I know and read about in the Gospels wasn’t a politician; He only personified the Truth of God. Politicians have to change with the times in order to satisfy their constituents and also end up compromising their belief system through bills and laws that are passed. Also, since when did Jesus Christ become a capitalist? Would He have considered anyone that is not rich, lazy and irresponsible? These are the common talking points of conservative talk radio and the attitudes of many of those who profess to have the love of Christ in them. They would have us believe that Jesus would have favored laws that benefit only the wealthy, which brings me to my next question: Was Jesus Christ an elitist? Would He have supported favoritism shown towards the rich over the poor? According to scripture, He didn’t even have a place to lay his head and traveled from city to city with his disciples. The things He spoke to the rich young ruler about selling all of His possessions and following Him says something quite different than the Jesus that this political party has tried to portray. Read Matthew 19:16-23 for the full account.

While the conservative movement may have views on the issues of gay marriage and abortion that line up with the Word of God, does that really make someone a true believer in Christ? Well, I know that that crazy pastor from Arizona who called for his congregation to pray for the death of Barak Obama surely isn’t. (Google this story) There were also polls taken that indicated that a very large number of conservative politicians believe that President Obama is the anti-Christ. Absolutely insane! Obviously, these “Christians” don’t read the Bible, or are just as flat out lost as they claim everybody else to be. The same folks who talk about family and God are the same ones who I love the spoken word video by Jefferson Bethke that has now gone viral on YouTube (Why I hate Religion but Love Jesus) because there is a line in his poem that says “just because you call others blind, doesn’t mean that you have vision.” This is the TRUTH screaming loud and clear at all of us.

I want to bring up this term “evangelical Christian,” which I hope nobody ever calls me. Why is it that this term always comes up in the midst of politics? I personally believe that this term has a political agenda attached to it (like The 700 Club), and it seems to refer only to a certain demographic of people. A few years ago someone emailed a prophecy to me spoken by Pat Robertson. Near the end of his prophetic word, he said that “they’ll embrace Socialism to ease their pain.” While I’m certainly not advocating Socialism, I don’t believe for a second that the Holy Spirit said that to him. This is the problem when politics involve PIMPING Jesus Christ in order to gain favor with certain groups of people! This is kind of similar to all the rhetoric I heard back during the previous presidential elections since 2000 that stated that “true” Christians would vote for George W. Bush. Again, God is not a politician! The conservative agenda has involved attaching their manmade political ideology to a pure and holy God! This is very dangerous and deceptive!

While I fully understand that there are in fact true followers of Christ who happen to support the conservative movement, I believe we just need to understand that politics is simply that: politics. A manmade political ideology that did not come from God can never be righteous or holy. The gridlock we see in this country with biased reporting from the overwhelming majority of news networks has nothing to do with God. Well, I hate to bust your bubble, but the conservative movement is no different. It also uses isolated statistics and typical rhetoric to further its agenda. The idea that conservatism represents “Christianity” is one that I personally can never support because there are way too many contradictions from my vantage point. However, each one of us will have to make a choice of what to believe. The God I know doesn’t have a political party and never will. His Word will remain the same forever and ever.

Nathan Allen Copyright© 2012

24 Then He said, “Assuredly, I say to you, no prophet is accepted in His own country. 25 But I tell you truly many widows were in Israel in the days of Elijah, when the heaven was shut up three years and six months, and there was a great famine throughout all the land; 26 “but to none of them was Elijah sent except Zarephath, in the region of Sidon, to a woman who was a widow. 27 “And many lepers were in Israel in the time of Elisha the prophet, and none of them was cleansed except Naaman the Syrian.” 28 So all those in the synagogue when they heard these things, were filled with wrath, 29 and rose up and thrust Him out of the city; and they led Him to the brow of the hill on which their city was built, that they might throw Him down over the cliff. 30 The passing through the midst of them, He went His way. Luke 4:24-30 (NKJV)

It was the third day of my journey to the holy land of Israel. We had visited a number of spots that day which included Megido and the place where the sermon of the beatitudes occurred. Early evening had set in and our bus had arrived to the city of Nazareth. Immediately, I was overtaken by the views of the architecture that adorned the sides of the mountains and hills. My camera flashed as I acted like the typical tourist. Little did I know, I was about to have my defining moment of the entire journey. I had expected that my moment would come in the Garden of Gethsemane, or the Wailing Wall, or even the place where Jesus was crucified. But we can never predict when the Holy Spirit is going to move on us.

We were on our way to Mount Precipice where Jesus Christ had escaped from the people who had tried to push him off the top of the mountain referenced in the opening scripture. I didn’t think that this place would have any real significance spiritually but boy was I wrong! The bishop who was leading our group began to read the scripture and eventually implored us to not just be tourists for this journey. He tearfully cautioned us not to leave the Holy Land unchanged; only having souvenirs and tons of pictures as evidence of our being there. And that’s when my moment began…

As tears began to well up in my eyes, the bishop finished his sermon and we closed out in prayer. The tears began to fall as we all walked down the mountain back to the bus. For the next 10-15 minutes during the bus ride, the tears wouldn’t stop falling. The Holy Spirit had begun speaking to me about incomplete repentance. The conviction on my heart was heavy and I continued to shed tears for all of the souls of men that could not yet be entrusted to me because my repentance was not complete. I began to see the faces of so many men who I believe were representing the souls I am supposed to reach in this lifetime. The Holy Spirit revealed to me that I was just like the crowd who tried to push Jesus off of the mountain. Whenever I am ignoring His instructions and not following through on disciplines that I had promised to make in my life, I’m quenching the Spirit. Just like the crowd in the scripture, I’m pushing Jesus Christ off of the mountain. There are doors of opportunity that remain closed in my life because of this incomplete repentance. It’s a maturity issue. Something else that came to mind as I wept on the bus was something that the bishop at a church I used to attend would say: Someone else is waiting on your obedience. Tears continued to fall as the Holy Spirit asked me, “How long? How long are you going to be a hold-up? How much time are you going to waste clinging on to past and current disappointments? How long are you going to continue being infatuated with worldly views of ‘success?’ Will there be blood on your hands when you stand before Me?”

What this revelation ultimately boiled down to was that there are other areas of my life that I have not surrendered to Him. They may not be directly related to the areas of deliverance that I’m currently walking out, but they are a part of the total surrender and repentance that He desires from my life. He desires the same from all of us. So as a result, I’m only walking in a measure of deliverance and there is still an open door to run back to the old vices when the going gets tough. However, when a person’s repentance is complete, there are no open doors because they have given it all to Jesus. They walk in the child-like faith that is willing to do whatever He asks. Yes I have salvation, yes I hear the Lord’s voice loud and clear, but I’m quenching the Holy Spirit in my life. My desires, my will, my fascination with certain things all prevent me from being the pure vessel that He can use. The truth is that I could be walking in so much more of His power and authority when it comes to ministering to others. I could also be enjoying a peace that I’ve never known if I was willing to center my entire life around Him. I think about this gospel song I love called “He Wants It All.” It epitomizes this experience I had and what the Lord is ultimately saying to me in this hour. He wants it all. He is telling me and even you, “Stop pushing me off of that mountain.”

This experience I believe is the Father’s heart cry to the body of Christ. Since returning from Israel, I have wrestled in my heart and mind about this issue. I realize that I have become so consumed with my future and my circumstances that I have lost intimacy with Him. I have misused the scripture in Proverbs about hope deferred as a reason to secretly remain resentful and bitter towards Him. Hence, I’m pushing Him off of that mountain. When I shut down, whether it’s by not giving my time to an outreach event or avoiding fellowship with other believers, once again I’m pushing Him off that mountain. When circumstances and desires for other things push me into complacency for the Kingdom, I’m shoving the One who died for me off of the mountain. So it’s no wonder that I’m unable to surrender the other areas of my life. But I’m so thankful that I can still hear His voice! Hallelujah! Some of the instructions I received as much as two, three even four years ago have begun to resurface, and I know this is Him giving me another chance. He is being so patient with me! No longer do I want to push Him off the mountain. I will never forget this experience and hope that it will be a constant reminder that true freedom comes only after complete and immediate obedience. It’s time to surrender all to Him and to stop quenching the spirit. I pray that you will do the same.

Nathan Allen Copyright© 2012