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A New Journey

I have not felt this peaceful in years, if not ever… Rest has been a totally foreign concept for the past thirteen years. I can finally BREATHE… Inhale. Exhale. Thoughts are no longer bouncing off the sides of my head forming a kaleidoscope in my mind. They are gradually slowing down as if I am approaching a traffic light as it turns from yellow to red. Waking up each day has been like eating some exquisite dessert. Life has slowed down to a breath of fresh air. It feels like hope is being revived. Dreams are coming back into view because my vision had become blurry. Joy seems to be bubbling up inside of me and a well spring will come forth, whether it is through my smile, my pen, an embrace, laughter or just the serenity that is beginning to encapsulate my aura. This feels really amazing and I wonder why I didn’t make this decision sooner. Now infinite possibilities lay before me like an open landscape. A pathway lined with all sorts of precious stones that has been illuminated like some “yellow brick road” goes through this landscape and I have taken the first step on to it. It leads to a place called “Wholeness.” Glimpses of this place appear in my imagination, only they seem real. Forgiveness soaks the ground like morning dew giving life. As I walk to water’s edge, I see that there is another place even more magnificent than this one. However, to get to it I must walk on water across the crystal sea. This is exciting, yet alarming at the same time.

lake view

I imagine myself lying in a hammock tied to a couple of fruit trees just passing the day away at it gently sways from side to side. Maybe this is a picture of His rest. The way that He has always meant for us to live, despite whatever circumstances are before us. My face looks calmer than I can ever remember. Even my facial features seem to have a glow that paints my countenance a beautiful shade of new beginnings. The bags that had begun to form under my eyes are already fading away, as if they were intruders. Scales that fell from my eyes litter the ground beneath me and a renewed perspective comes into view. It tells me that it is okay to start over. It is okay to be what the world calls a “late bloomer.” Because this soul flower will be one of great radiance and will be one that has never been seen!

I am a magnificent eagle of a rare breed that has just been freed from captivity. It is one that resulted from my own decisions, but now this bird has been given another chance. My Lord, look at my wings glide through the air, reflecting the light of the sun! Soaring to new heights! Soaring into new territory and foreign lands! Gliding into panoramic views that show truths that the former false self could not see…

eagle

All of this now awaits me. Former things have passed away. It is a new day, a new chapter, a new season. Time for my decisions to be soaked in an oil called finality. This is a glorious opportunity to become a clean vessel that will be used for His glory. A chance to know what it means to live as a son of God and an heir of Christ. This new season is a tangible form of mercy, inspiring me to put on hinds feet and climb to high places. An assurance that He has a marvelous destiny in store for me. A chance to just be…

Nathan Allen Copyright ©2013

 
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Posted by on August 19, 2013 in Spirituality

 

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Struggle Vs. Resolve

“I’m a work in progress.”

“God knows my heart.”

“This is something I just struggle with.”

These are all familiar statements that are commonly made by many people who profess to be in the body of Christ. I’ve made these statements several times myself, but have since shied away from them because I know now that they really are excuses. True enough many of us are in fact walking out our deliverance in various areas of our lives. Romans 12:2 says, “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” (NKJV) If we have truly repented then we are dedicated to living a life that is pleasing to the Father. So if this is the case, then we allow the Holy Spirit to redirect and restructure our lives in such a way that will help us not give into sin so easily. However, the problem is that so many people confuse struggle with resolve.

One sign in one’s life who really wants to be free is the presence of accountability. James 5:16 says “Confess your trespasses one to another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.” (NKJV) If you have hidden sins in your life that no one else knows about, then you are lying to yourself when you make statements like, “I’m a work in progress.” People don’t embrace accountability because it means that they can’t simply do whatever they want. The truth is that confrontation does not feel good and most people don’t others getting in their business. God will put people in our lives to walk with us. Iron sharpens iron. However, without accountability, you will likely continue to fall over and over again. Those who have confused struggle with resolve will likely reject correction and find ways too justify their sinful behavior. Yet, some of these same folks will say that they are a work in progress. Please… Get real. Are you really progressing, or has your behavior not changed at all, except for the fact that you might go to church and know how to speak “Christianese?” Without anyone to be accountable to, you will become numb to your situation the more that you go unexposed and find comfort in the idea that you can get away with your sin issue. It’s funny how it is forgotten that the Father sees everything and He knows us better than ourselves. People are always talking about “God knows my heart.” Well according to Mark 7:20-23 that is not a good thing. The scripture says, “20 And He said, “What comes out of a man, that defiles a man. 21 For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, 22 thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lewdness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness. 23 All these evil things come from within and defile a man.” Wow… This scripture made me stop saying that “God knows my heart” altogether!

tugowar

From my own experience of walking out deliverance in certain areas of my life, I recall vividly that the Holy Spirit really came alive and began to give instructions. Sometimes instruction came from the suggestions of others who knew my situation as well. For example, if fornication is something you want to be free from, then the Holy Spirit will begin to instruct you on restructuring your life. This might mean that you stop hanging out at clubs where there is temptation. It will likely involve other things like getting an Internet filtering program, avoiding certain types of music and movies, getting rid of the phone numbers of sexual partners and distancing yourself from them. These would be the actions of someone who is truly struggling with sin, not someone who has just resolved to be that way. I remember a time about five or six years ago when I was in the shower. I would often times pray and engage in praise and worship while cleansing. This time I was heavy because I knew that I was still in bondage in certain areas of my life. I began to cry and lament. Then the Holy Spirit dropped a bombshell on me and said very plainly, “You’re not desperate enough.” Whew! What I realized from that day forth is that someone who is struggling is DESPERATE and HUNGRY for change. You get to the point where you no longer care about who knows your business and are willing to pay whatever costs necessary to get free. In Matthew 5:29-30 Jesus says, “29 If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. (NKJV) I believe this is where the rubber meets the road and what separates the wheat from the tare. Someone who is struggling will make the sacrifices in order to live a repented life. Someone who is lying to themselves and who has resolved that a sin issue is just a part of them won’t make the necessary changes to be free because they haven’t truly experienced godly sorrow. They are only concerned with people finding out and in fact only experience worldly sorrow. THEY ARE NOT STRUGGLING!

A person who has confused struggle with resolve will NEVER change. A person who honestly struggles will eventually change and get to the point where they really are free from that sin issue. It may be a bit of a journey, but the length of that journey is largely determined by their decisions. The Apostle Paul stated that we must die daily to our flesh and crucify it (paraphrasing). This is not an easy task for everyone.   

I can honestly say that there are people in my life who know my issues. My own journey has been rocky and the Father has shown me other issues in my life that get in the way of my walking in total freedom. But I am able to find comfort in the fact that my struggle is in fact lessening and that smooth sailing is on the horizon if I’m willing to make the right choices. Being transparent may not always feel good, but that is largely because of pride. However, the more you do it, the easier it becomes. Hopefully, you will be honest with yourself about your situation. There is a distinct difference between struggle and resolve.

Nathan Allen Copyright© 2012

   

 
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Posted by on July 17, 2012 in Spirituality

 

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